Irreplaceable

Yes, I admit it. I'm weak. I can't stand up for myself anymore. I used to be strong but even the hardest of metals corrode. I always think the worst. I always doubt that you'll be able to love me enough. That you'll just leave me for another girl. One of my closest friends I confided this problem with, gave me this song. I rejected it. Saying this is going to be impossible. That I won't be able to do it when that time (if ever *knocking on wood so it won't really happen*) comes. I am needing some positive reinforcement right now. Maybe if I repeat this over and over, I'll be able to say that "Since I'm not your everything, how about I'll be nothing? Nothing at all to you."

Irreplaceable

To the left
To the left

To the left
To the left

Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, thats my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)

And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get grown
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby i won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear for you)
I won't lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy

To the left to the left
To the left to the left

Mmmmm
To the left to the left
Everything you own in the box to left

To the left to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking
You're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' (baby! hey yea)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You can pack all your bags we're finished
Cause you made your bed now lay in it
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

Top 10 Sweetest Things

In no particular order:

1. Filing me under the Family group of your YM.

2. Looking for a driver so I won't be forced to commute when you lost your license.

3. Getting worried I'd get mad at you for losing the wallet I gave you as a gift.

4. Planning of having a joint bank account.

5. Lending me money to pay off my credit card bills without collateral.

6. Picking me up from work almost everyday to ensure I get home safely in Taguig even if you live in Quezon City.

7. Telling me I'm losing weight.

8. Giving me +10 RO equips. :P

9. Using me as your dantay before you fall asleep.

10. Trusting me with keeping all your characters in My LU account.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Bonne Saint-Valentin!

For all you pROKers out there, check out the LovRoKs events LU has set up for us here. I want to join the contest but I still have a lot of convincing to do. :P But if you want to read our love story, just go here.

Aside from that you can also get a free silver tiara when you top up 500 load to your account. For details, click here.

Ingamewise, there's as usual a chocolate making event. It's a little more difficult and pricier than last year's. Want to give it a try? Click here for the guide.

To celebrate Valentine's day, there's also a Hypermart sale. Neuralizers for 30% discount and Blessed Eluniums and Oridecons for 50% off. Click here for the Anael's official announcement.

*Image from http://www.fanarts.net/fanarts/output/?fa=248529&sort=zeichner

I'm so sick

I've read somewhere that there is only one nerve that controls anger or sadness. So if you're feeling sad, the best cure would be anger because anger going through this nerve will prevent the feeling of sadness going through it. So if you're sad, get angry! Not angry? Listen to these songs!

Flyleaf is one of the rare bands whose female vocalist can do screams that I'm not sure how it is called exactly. Here's the lyrics of one of my favorite songs from them.

===

I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

Hear it! I'm screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I'm so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so
I'm so sick
I'm so
I'm so sick

Brighter

My new favorite song! This is my song for Jeff. XD



===

So this is how it goes
Well I, I would have never known
And if it ends today
I'll still say that you shine brighter than anyone

Now I think we're taking this too far
Don't you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's your's and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

Well this is not your fault
But if I'm without you
Then I will feel so small
And if you have to go
Always know that you shine brighter than anyone does.

Now I think we're taking this too far
Don't you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's your's and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

If you run away now,
Will you come back around?
And if you ran away,
I'd still wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright.

Now I think we're taking this too far
Don't you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's your's and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

I'll wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright
(You shine bright, you shine bright)
I'll wave goodbye tonight

===

Merry Christmas everyone! :)

"Please bless my hair also!"

I've been feeling so ugly lately. I think I want to change my hair or something. It has been brought to my attention too many times than I would have wanted to hear that I've become so fat. (See pictures here.) I think some changes ought to be made.

As most of the people I come to contact with everyday know, I've been abstaining from eating rice for the past month or so. No visible effects yet. That's a little slow for me. I'm planning to enrol in Fitness First this week or the next though earlier than planned. I was planning to go with Nikki or Laurence but maybe I should muster up enough courage to go by myself. I'm doing for myself anyway.

I thought I was strong. I thought my self-esteem will not be hurt from what people think of me. But I was wrong. Everytime someone I know from more than a year ago sees me, all I hear is "OMG, you're so fat!" "Ang taba taba mo na?" "Ano nangyari sa'yo?" And I'm tired of hearing it. It's time I took care of it.

And because slimming down will take some time even with the fastest time possible, I'm going to change my hair for a change that's immediate. Janice mentioned a salon she's been going to where though a little cheaper than the more famous salons its stylists are as professional. Now what that change is going to be, I'm not sure yet. Help me decide. Straight or curly? Redhead or brunette?

Leave a comment to vote. XD

Sad Kitty

I am a sad kitty today.

The day started innocently enough. I woke up at around 11, drank my usual cup of milky coffee, then took a bath.

I then decided to give a thank you gift to Jeff for being so nice last night. He wanted to have the Noghaltz installer for Ragnarok so that he can install it on his work PC. I have two copies of that installer so it should've been no problem right? Wrong! My sister lent them to someone. Both of them. So there was my quandary. What to do? Maybe I could burn all the contents of our RO folder to a CD. No, impossible. Size is more than 1GB. Hmm... Maybe I can just buy another copy from LU. It's only 15 minutes away from our house anyway if I took a taxi. So off I went to LU. A tricycle ride after, I was in C5 waiting for a cab. Thinking that only 15 minutes had passed I waited and waited and waited. Then I realized that my watch has stopped. >.<;;

Realizing I've waited longer than normal, I decided to wait for a cab in Market Market instead. I took a jeep, alighted a few meters from the mall, and walked to the taxi stand. Lo and behold. A queue of more than 50 people. >.<;;;

Fast forward to two millenia later, I finally arrived at the LU office, got the CDs from Janice. (Thanks sis! ^ 3^) It was already 2:30 and I had a decision to take. Do I go directly to the office or take the CDs to Jeff? If I go directly to the office, I won't be late but getting the CDs today won't mean a thing. If I take the CDs to Jeff my hard work will pay off. Guess what I chose. So Jeff was happy, I was happy. ^_^

I arrived at the office half an hour late. Good thing Nikki decided to work today even if she's still sick *huggles Nikki*. Not really a busy day. Not too many emails and no calls yet like yesterday. Had a Honeywell training which went well (could've been better though). Work interspersed with YM conversations with my friends and of course Jeff. So happy. ^_^

While I was on the training, around 6 PM, Jeff IMed that he'll be going home. I wasn't able to reply because of the training of course. Fully expecting him to be online again at around 7 PM, I was getting a little worried that he still isn't two hours later so I sent him a text message. Two hours after I sent the message, he finally replied. He's still with his boss... of all things, getting drunk. >.<;;;;; So I texted him back asked him to go home so that he'll be able to fetch me from work to which he replied that he will do it. Unfortunately, he changed his mind 20 minutes later. Y_Y

Well... nothing to do then but wait for tomorrow hoping that it'll be happier than today. =^_^= should be my face tomorrow morning. :3

Sorry na

Sorry na kung nagalit ka di naman sinasadya
Kung may nasabi man ako init lang ng ulo
Pipilitin kong magbago pangako sa iyo

Sorry na nakikinig ka ba?
Malamang sawa ka na
Sa ugali kong ito na ayaw magpatalo
At parang sirang tambutso na hindi humihinto

Sorry na talaga kung ako'y medyo tanga
Hindi ako nag-iisip na-uuna ang galit
Sorry na talaga sa aking nagawa
Tanggap ko na mali ako wag sanang magtampo
Sorry na

Sorry na wag kang madadala
Alam kong medyo nahihirapan ka
Na ibigin ang isang katulad kong parang timang
Na paulit-ulit kang hindi sadyang nasasaktan

Sorry na saan ka pupunta?
Please naman wag kang mawawala
Kapag ako ay iwan mo mamamatay ako
Pagkat hawak mo sa iyong kamay ang puso ko
Mahal kita sobrang mahal kita
Wala na akong pwedeng sabihin pang iba
Kundi sorry talaga di ko sinasadya
Talagang sobrang mahal kita
Wag kang mawawala

Sorry na

23 on 23

I just turned 23 last Thursday. Thank you for everyone who greeted me on that special day. Some greetings even came before the day. Thanks so much!

The very first one to greet me was Ebet days before the exact date. Then Jeff at 7 pm on the 22nd. Nikki was the first to greet me on the exact date. Liezl greeted me through YM. Unfortunately, Jeff was not able to fetch me, so it was Marl who did. I treated him with coffee. And he gifted me with stories.

On the morning of my birthday, I went to UP to complete my "change of matriculation" (a tedious process to correct the stupidity of enrolling in a subject I thought I haven't yet taken which turned out I already did). I was going to have it signed by the dean but I was told that he wouldn't be there until 11 AM so I just left it there to not waste my time waiting. I went directly to Jeff's house to sleep.

I planned to spend my birthday as if it's no special than regular days but it was not meant to be.
We went to Tagaytay to celebrate, ate (thank you for the treat!) and had coffee. It was there that I completed the Starbucks stickers needed to claim the planner. Happy day!

(I will insert picture of planner here when I get the chance. XD)

Too bad I don't have a camera. I don't have any pictures to show for it. Only measly receipts from Carlo's Pizza and Starbucks. Jeff, Kio, Klip, thanks for the fun!

(I will insert picture of receipt here when I get the chance. XD)

I arrived late for work on Friday as I was determined to finish the change of matriculation process. Thank God that's done. Birthday greetings continued that day moreso because it was the day of the monthly company meeting. I was called on in the meeting and was greeted on the loudspeaker. It was so embarrassing! ._. But anyway, there was food and cake and though I know it was not especially for me it was FREE! XD

Birthday celebrations continued Saturday after my MA class (good thing my classmates didn't know I just celebrated my birthday). This time we celebrated with Janice, Donald, Ced, Kio (again), Magi, and AJ. We were planning to watch Casino Royale but the cinemas were already closed when we got there. So instead, we just ate at Max's to our heart's content then drank coffee (this time to complete the second round of stickers for Jeff XD) beside the bay. Rob unfortunately arrived late and was only able to catch us at that time (I think he ate some of the leftovers XD). We talked rowdily until around two.

Sunday was family day. I treated them to a KFC bucket meal because the Happy Feet tumblers were so cute. XD Then we all had coffee after. Jeff fetched me to drop off Magi and AJ in Bulacan. We ate chicken and Mulawin pan de sal and watched the really weird Willy Wonka movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (Nope, didn't like it.)

Today, no more birthday celebrations but it's not over yet as Laurence (an officemate) and I decided to celebrate our birthdays together (his birthday's tomorrow). Why? To split the bill of course! XD

Drying my tears before they fall

I can feel the tears stinging my eyes but no I won't let them fall. I understand. You're not in the mood. What can I do? Times like this, I really wish I am a priestess. Able to teleport instantly to your side. Instantly warping to where you are. Upping my agility to run to you. But no, I'm just a silly girl. Sitting in front of my computer, typing. Hoping that you love me. Even if I'm not at your side.

Today, you were supposed to fetch me from work. Unfortunately you can't because you're sick. I wanted to go take care of you but I can't because I'm working. I had a plan. I was going to go to you right after work. I even enlisted the help of my friend to pose as my supervisor to tell my parents that work will be keeping me until 7. But you declined. You were worried I'd get in trouble. That taking taxis at midnight is not safe. That my parents will find out the deceit. That I'll be late for class tomorrow. And I was happy. You cared.

While waiting for my shift to end, a friend texted me and wished me happy birthday. There's still more than a week to go before my birthday. I was very happy with the greeting knowing fully well that we've not talked for a long time. I was actually getting worried he'd hold the grudge to grave. Or type my name on Ai Enma's website. He asked if we could talk. I agreed. It's the least I can do. Here's to hoping everything will go well at lunch on Monday.

I also talked with my best friend. She is in Japan. She was here for a while but I was not able to see her. I do regret that. I found out she is lonely. But I had to leave already. Time is up. Hope I get to talk with her soon.

I have class tomorrow morning. No more tears stinging my eyes. Success! I was able to suppress them. Tomorrow, I am going to see you and take care of you and make you feel better. I love you.

Chinese proverbs

好事多磨
hao shì duō mó
The course of true love never runs smooth.

Maybe this is true for some but not for us. We haven't really encountered major bumps in our relationship; just a few kinks that's all. So does that mean this is not true love? I beg to disagree. :)

婚姻是恋爱的坟墓
hūn yīn shì liàn ài de fén mù
Matrimony is the grave of romance.

Err... Of course I also disagree with this. Though, I'm not that sure if it's true since I'm not married yet.

有麝自然香
you shè zì rán xiāng
When you have musk, you will automatically have fragrance.

True! No need to advertise something that is obvious.

These three proverbs are my favorite of the lot. If you want to see more just click on the title. :)